Why are librarians sexy?

It’s probably one of the most unlikely sex symbols to pop up in the American psyche and yet it is commonly accepted that librarians are sexy.

I find the concept so strange, I mean, when was the last time you went into a library? I know a majority of people have not done so in a decade or longer, but frankly when you do, I’m pretty sure you won’t find that 24 year old brunette with the low cut top wearing a skirt as a second skin. You’ll probably discover a nice old lady with thick glasses who loves books and Thomas Kinkade paintings.

Where are these unicorns then? Why has their image endured for so long? I have a conspiracy theory.

I think the library system has perpetuated this symbol so people go to the library. Think about it, you see a sexy librarian lady or man in some photos or art and you think: “You know what, I am going to go to the library and see these creatures in their natural habitat!” And you go and you find that this isn’t the case, so you sit and begin reading a book and you return every day in the hopes that they will show up. They never do, but your lust has turned into a love for reading and coming to the library.

You are now a slave to this establishment, and it is good.

Libraries are an amazing facet of our society and an interesting notion in general. These establishments are simply here to allow you or anyone access to knowledge. Granted, we have the Internet, but these places are still important to us because of a number of factors:

  • They provide free Internet access
  • They have free books, movies, games, programs to learn another language, and more
  • Some even have high end computers that allow for music or film editing
  • Most importantly they are large, quiet spaces to study and get lost in your mind

That last thought might seem rather odd, but really, it’s probably the most valuable tool that the library has these days. Many of them do not allow cellphone use and this isolates you. Sure, there’s the Internet on the computers, but you have to reserve your time on them and they are usually built for work only; so you can’t really do much on them other than look things up. The silence of a library is unlike anything else, because it is silence for a reason, and that reason is concentration.

How does this relate to sexy librarians?

It comes back to my tinfoil-hat-thought about how the library system has perpetuated this image and it’s to get you into the building. Sex sells, and I for one can safely say there is nothing sexier than a woman reading a book. Put that image together with the American male psyche from the age of 14 moving forward and you can see how this begins to build up. The lure to this building is the fantasy of sexy librarians, books, and finding something no one else has found; but once you get into the building you notice that it is a place unlike anything else out there because you can just disappear.

The silence can be disturbing for most since we are so used to being stimulated on an almost constant rate, but let it sink in and you get why it matters. Having a place you have to be quiet inside of allows you the chance to really relax and think about things without having to put a hashtag on it. You have to actually think here and you do so because you have really no other choice. This will cause many people to lose their minds and find themselves wanting to leave because they simply cannot handle the internal questions that pop up from the pit of their stomach:

  • Am I really a vegetarian?
  • Is my uncle D.B. Cooper?
  • Have I lost my faith?
  • Is there a God?
  • Will I ever finish watching all of Gunsmoke?
  • Why not jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
  • Do I even matter?
  • Will I find the lost treasure of the Spanish fleet?
  • Do I feel pretty?
  • Does chocolate really taste like chocolate or is chicken how chocolate should really taste?

Without these questions, and a space to ask ourselves them without the risk of judgement, we never really know who we are as a person. In our “modern” world we are finding this time of silence and quiet thought to be ever shrinking. We think we are ultra advanced with our tech and social media, but a 14 year-old kid from 1975 feels and thinks the same as a 14 year-old kid from 2015. Our problems have not changed (personal problems, not geopolitical), nor have we as a species, in the last 20, 50 or even 100 years. The differences are that mistakes are recorded and laughed about online. Every misspelling, misstep, and bad thought is recorded and stored for future flame wars on message boards. Quiet, stillness, and purposeful isolation are needed in times of growth, no matter what age you happen to be at the time.

Why are librarians sexy? Because.

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Nick enjoys making things and drinking coffee, specifically the latter, for without it the former wouldn’t get done. He also wrote a book titled “Where Monsters Lie & Other Tales”