Today’s been an odd one.

You see, I landed this contract that starts Thursday (Which I am super excited for) but whenever I land a gig I always get this sense of sadness that sits on my brain like a sumo wrestler leaning on a poorly made stool. I love being freelance because it is exciting and I get to meet a bunch of different people that I wouldn’t otherwise meet. I get to write for fields that interest me.

You get it, but in particular I love it because I get to set my time and even when I get something I want I get sad because I now don’t have the time to do the one thing I love to do: Hang out with my daughter.

Go ahead and eye roll. It’s cheese, super cheese, but sometimes cheese is where real life is and that’s where I am right now. I don’t hang out with my daughter all day, everyday, but I try to do at least one day a week where I do nothing but hang with her and take her places.

I get that I must work because I love to do it and provide for my family. Nothing makes me happier, but this is a benefit that so few get in this country and it’s one I wish my wife got. Seeing her grow and change and become a person has been a privilege that will never repeat. Everyday something new happens and something stops happening.

She’s different everyday and that is exciting. It’s like a movie you will never see or find once you leave the theater, so you’d better pay attention to it, otherwise you’ll miss out.

I am currently editing my second book (That’s an update I hope to write often but for more additional books), are freelancing with some cool companies, and starting a company with my wife. My life is busy, so having one day a week to hang with Astrid is something that I value highly.

So, now that this new and awesome gig is starting, I won’t have that time like I used to (At least for the next 4-6 weeks). It’s something that just sits on me, I know it’s silly because what I am doing I am doing for my wife and her; but it doesn’t give me back that day.

I know that’s a luxury, but it’s one that I will pay for anytime.

TLDR; happy sad day because awesome job but missing some days with my kid.