Today’s been an odd one.


You see, I landed this contract that starts Thursday (Which I am super excited for) but whenever I land a gig I always get this sense of sadness that sits on my brain like a sumo wrestler leaning on a poorly made stool. I love being freelance because it is exciting and I get to meet a bunch of different people that I wouldn’t otherwise meet. I get to write for fields that interest me.

You get it, but in particular I love it because I get to set my time and even when I get something I want I get sad because I now don’t have the time to do the one thing I love to do: Hang out with my daughter.

Go ahead and eye roll. It’s cheese, super cheese, but sometimes cheese is where real life is and that’s where I am right now. I don’t hang out with my daughter all day, everyday, but I try to do at least one day a week where I do nothing but hang with her and take her places.

I get that I must work because I love to do it and provide for my family. Nothing makes me happier, but this is a benefit that so few get in this country and it’s one I wish my wife got. Seeing her grow and change and become a person has been a privilege that will never repeat. Everyday something new happens and something stops happening.

She’s different everyday and that is exciting. It’s like a movie you will never see or find once you leave the theater, so you’d better pay attention to it, otherwise you’ll miss out.

I am currently editing my second book (That’s an update I hope to write often but for more additional books), are freelancing with some cool companies, and starting a company with my wife. My life is busy, so having one day a week to hang with Astrid is something that I value highly.

So, now that this new and awesome gig is starting, I won’t have that time like I used to (At least for the next 4-6 weeks). It’s something that just sits on me, I know it’s silly because what I am doing I am doing for my wife and her; but it doesn’t give me back that day.

I know that’s a luxury, but it’s one that I will pay for anytime.

TLDR; happy sad day because awesome job but missing some days with my kid.

Written by Maz

Nick enjoys making things and drinking coffee, specifically the latter, for without it the former wouldn’t get done. He also wrote a book titled "Where Monsters Lie & Other Tales"