Winter was wonderful as water fell from the sky in California. Most appreciated it while many sheered, “When did I move to Seattle?”

Just know, we hate those people, they don’t represent all of us and they have been sent off on an ice float. It is said that they shouted, “When did I move to Chicago?” when the Pacific swallowed them into silence.

The rain brought us out of the drought and gave us the super bloom. Dawww, have you seen all the photos?

Have you?

HAVE YOU?

While many have found mother nature to be brilliantly beautiful, since all of the dead brown bushes have gone, they have failed to see what the drought was doing for us.

It kept allergies low

Have allergies? Then gird your loins, because this spring and summer will be ramming pollen down your throat. Hacking and coughing will be at Outbreak levels and nothing will stop it. Since a majority of the plants were dead or in hibernation because of the lack of water, pollen levels have stayed relatively low and were mildly annoying.

The lackadaisical days of being able to skip taking generic Claritin on a nightly basis are now gone. Miss a day, and your nose will be preggers will snot of epic proportions.

Unless we cure mother nature of its pollen problem with the bomb from Outbreak.

Low bug counts

No one likes bugs, even the people who love them still curse the little bastards as they buzz by their ears while on hike; except they won’t just be buzzing by your ears this year, but rather making a curtain that you must pass through on your way to the garage. Due to plants getting that crazy thing called water they have gone gangbusters and since there many plants this means there will be many bugs.

Were you paranoid about the Zeka virus before? That feeling will now be magnified by 10 this season as each step outside may lead toward your DNA’s doom since there will be an explosion of mosquitoes this year.

Just remember this simple trick to keeping them away:

  • Don’t go outside, ever.

We will miss you drought

In this state there is very little the population can rally around. A thought that we can universally say, “Yeah, that sucks.” It is of my opinion that living in parts of the country that get incremental weather usually breed nicer people because they are forced to have to look out for one another.

What I mean is this, if your car slides off the road and into snow, people will usually stop because they want to make sure you’re okay. They do this because:

  1. They genuinely worry about others.
  2. When this happens to them they will get help as well, since the person helping them has probably run into this problem before.

If someone goes off the road in my state, they are usually helped, but everyone else on the freeway is cursing their existence for causing traffic to happen. Californians don’t really have a bonding agent like weather, a thing that is out of our control, because traffic is caused by someone doing something that makes traffic. Due to this, we have someone to blame, and therefore that hate for them spreads over the rest of the populous as we think: One of you will be the arbiter of my frustration as I sit in traffic. It will happen.

With the drought though, we had something to bond over. We sympathized with those who owned land that depended on the now dried up wells. We bonded over water waste and made sure to follow conservation rules that were set in place (That really should be followed even if the drought is “over”). I think it helped us all have a common spot to reach out and help someone who could not make their brown lawns into more efficient landscapes due to age issues or money problems.

The drought, in a strange way, caused us to bond a bit.

But seriously, so glad it’s gone. Gonna get my Slip-n-Slide on and just turn my hose on and spray the water into the gutter because I can while taking a 45 minute shower. Why do I need to take such a long shower? Not your problem, it’s my water, I can do whatever I want with it!

Yep, we’ve grown so much.

Namaste.

Written by Maz

Nick enjoys making things and drinking coffee, specifically the latter, for without it the former wouldn’t get done. He also wrote a book titled "Where Monsters Lie & Other Tales"